Building intimacy and trusting God

I used to become angry with God and question His existence and level of care for me when things did not work out well. I'd blame him for being unhelpful when he had the power to change things. Little did I know that this revealed a lack of intimacy with him, lack of knowing him and the integrity of his character plus lack of trust.

After working on knowing God and building intimacy with him, instead of being upset at him and pitying myself after painful heartbreaks, terrible losses and betrayals the more I leaned on him when things didn't work out and when they went wrong. In that place of intimacy, love and trust I found a peace that surpasses all understanding amidst the trials. That is where I found assurance and confidence that all things will work together for my good.

Yes the business deal did not come through, yes they rejected you, yes you lost everything, the divorce happened and there has been perpetual failure and loss, yes you can't make ends meet and your finances are not making sense, you can't sleep or think straight because depression and anxiety is overwhelming you - in everything facing you right now I encourage you to look to your maker, draw closer to him instead of moving away from him in anger and disbelief of his existence.

He is truly the answer to it all, I've seen a difference in how I respond to circumstances because of building intimacy, I am never defeated but I face everything from a vantage point of deep love the father has for me, now I know that he has an invested interest in every detail of my life and I am the apple of his eye. Scripture says

"We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tested in every way" Hebrews 4:15

I may not understand why certain things happen to me but I'm confident now that he is in control. On hind sight a friend said to me recently if we knew everything and had control of everything then he wouldn't be God!