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10 Self - sabotaging behaviors you need to stop in 2023!

We frequently become trapped in self-created vicious cycles that we are not even aware of and one of these is Self sabotaging behaviors, mindsets and patterns. We continue these behaviors by failing to engage in self-reflection and honest dialogue with ourselves. This frequently leads to us blaming others and, regrettably, blaming God.


This is caused by our inner self-sabotager, which wants nothing but the worst for us. Your greatness is threatened by it. It acts as a friend, but it is your enemy. Because it loves misery, it convinces you to remain small and timid.


This year, we should confront these behaviors so that we do not impede our success. Not only are they a hinderance to our success but they also impact our relationship with God. If we win, we will live forever victorious. The problem is, if we don't do anything, we lose by default since our minds are programmed to work against us. You will forever be ruled by those sneaky self-sabotaging actions.




What is Self - sabotage?

Self-sabotage is when people do (or don’t do) things that block their success or prevent them from accomplishing their goals. It can happen consciously or unconsciously. Self-sabotaging behaviors can affect our personal and professional success, as well as our mental health

Now that we've identified what Self-sabotage is, lets have a look at a list of these that you need to stop to step into your victory and better you.


1. Irrational fears

Fear of both success and failure leads to self-sabotaging behavior. Ironically, we are paralyzed by our fear of both success and failure. Let us try to understand both of them. The anxiety about failing is easy to understand. You don't want to be rejected, confronted, or fail to meet your objectives. Failure lowers your self-esteem, so you avoid the pain by not attempting.


The fear of success is less well-known, but it is more terrifying. Success necessitates dedication, accountability, and pressure. When you succeed, you can no longer relax or make excuses.


There are over 300 scriptures that deal with fear one of my favorites is found in the book of Isaiah 43:1 - But now, this is what the LORD says-- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine." may this scripture remind you of the one who is the author and finisher of your faith, the one who is able to keep you from falling.


2. Self doubt

William Shakespeare once said, “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.” Basically, that means doubt makes us quit. In order for us to step into our success this behavior needs to be cut short it should not have a place in who we are and where we are going. Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me"- this means that we should have Godfidence (confidence that God's got THIS!) when we begin to doubt ourselves, we start doubting God's ability.


3. Pride

Scripture is very specific to say in the book of proverbs 16:18 "Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall." A healthy amount of pride is good, however, pride sometimes is used interchangeably with "conceit" or "arrogance" (among other words) which are negative characteristics. Oxford defines it as "the quality of having an excessively high opinion of oneself or one's own importance." We frequently begin our Christian walk well. Our eyes are fixed on God, and our hearts are completely dedicated to Him. Then, suddenly, pride rises up, blinding us to God's ways and preventing us from being all God wants us to be. It tempts us to think we know better than God. If left unchecked, pride will change our perspective on God and the path He has chosen for us.


4. Procrastination

Procrastination is the practice of postponing an important task by focusing on less important, more enjoyable, and easier activities instead. It differs from laziness, which is an unwillingness to act. Procrastination can limit your potential and harm your success. Procrastination is a trap that many of us fall into. In fact, research indicates that 95 percent of us procrastinate to some degree. While it may be comforting to know that you're not alone, it can be sobering to realize just how much it can hold you back. Ecclesiastes 11:4 says "Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap."


5. Lack of Communication

You are aware that you need help with a project, yet you choose not to ask for it. Despite being late, you choose not to text. Our daily lives involve communication, both at work and at home. We often hold back from speaking because we are hard on ourselves. We are worried that by asking for help, people would notice our flaws. Sadly, poor communication can make our relationships worse. It can also serve as a breeding ground for impostor syndrome, which is worse. I often ask the Holy Spirit to help me when I need to communicate and feel uncomfortable. I ask him to give me the words and to make the listeners heart receptive to me, trust me when I say to you that THIS works!!


6. People pleasing

Someone who prioritizes the needs of others before their own is a people-pleaser. People-pleasers have a strong sense of empathy for others and are frequently regarded as agreeable, helpful, and kind, but they can also struggle to speak up for themselves, which can result in unhealthy patterns of self-sacrifice or self-neglect.


7. Indecisiveness

The challenge of coming to satisfying decisions is known as indecision. We review and reevaluate the same set of information when we are unsure of our decision. We can spend a lot of time weighing the advantages and disadvantages of each choice just to become immobilized by them. We often put off making decisions until it is nearly too late, which results in situations where we are either compelled to make a decision or let someone else to do it for us. Sometimes we are happy with that choice, but more often we are not, so we obsess over scenarios and activities we should be concentrating on while brooding over questions that begin with "what if." Scripture says in James 1:8 “A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways”


8. Disorganization

Being disorganized is functioning without adequate order, systemization, or planning and being uncoordinated. The sad reality is that nobody trusts a disorganized person it can hinder your ability to get where you want to be professionally, decrease your productivity, and can even be bad for your reputation, physical and mental health. God advocates for orderliness 1 Corinthians 14:40 says "But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way." and 1 Corinthians 14:30 says "For God is not a God of disorder"


9. Perfectionism

Although aiming for perfection might seem like a good idea, doing so frequently hinders productivity. Perfectionists frequently struggle to begin projects, and if they do, their fixation on the intricacies prevents them from finishing them. Additionally, all-or-nothing thinking is a trait of perfectionists. They have a propensity to be very hard on themselves and talk themselves out of possibilities before they ever begin.


10. Aggression, resentment, hatred, blame, shame; judgment, unforgiveness (toward oneself or others)

When we harbor such negative emotions we cripple our potential and hinder walking in a place of freedom. In order to stop self-sabotaging ourselves, these issues must be resolved. It may not be overnight as some of them are rooted from traumas we've experienced in the past, however whom the son sets free is free indeed. I've seen a deliverer in Jesus even for what we may see as self inflicted limitations like self - sabotaging behaviors - The Grace is available beloved.


In conclusion Start somewhere to stop these behaviors by doing thorough introspection, Develop self-awareness, writing it out, creating a plan, practicing mindfulness and communicating when you need help. A wise man once said asking for help is not a sign of weakness but it is a sign of strength.


Shalom: KayD



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